One of my favorite things about working in personal and professional development is how it contributes to my own lifelong learning. Recently, I had the pleasure of co-facilitating a workshop with a fellow physician coach on the topic of leadership and professionalism. One big insight I got from this event was how integrity is impacted by priorities.
The definition of integrity presented by my colleague was centered around honoring your word. She made the distinction between keeping your word and honoring your word. The first means doing exactly what you say you will do. The other means taking responsibility when circumstances arise that make it impossible to keep your word.
Being a person of integrity means people in your life know they can trust you to be accountable for what you say you will do. Naturally, as with most important issues, integrity presents challenges. A lot of us stumble when it comes to balancing integrity and personal priorities.
In the spirit of transparency, I want to share certain scenarios where I have seen this issue manifest most often in my life. No matter how evolved and thoughtful I consider myself, there have been episodes when my integrity has been less than stellar in each of the following ways.
Lack of Clarity – Giving your word without being truly clear about your priorities.
This happens when I’m not tuned in to myself enough to live aligned with my priorities. My focus on being helpful can make me automatically defer to other people’s priorities. When I fail to consider what is most important to me, conflict arises when something pops up that is more meaningful to me than whatever random thing I already agreed to do.
Not taking the necessary self-reflection steps sets me up either to flake on others or to be really annoyed while I keep my word. As a general rule, it serves me better in terms of honoring my word to think ahead of time of how I can honor my priorities while respecting the priorities of others.
Lack of Communication – Not communicating appropriately when your priorities change.
Because I live in the real world, my priorities shift at times. That is not a problem in and of itself. The issue is when other people who are impacted by my reassigned priorities are not informed. When my priorities change, I need to communicate with the people who need to know, as soon and as directly as possible.
It may be tempting to avoid an awkward interaction by telling myself it wasn’t that big of a deal in the first place so bailing isn’t a problem. I may be totally correct. If I’m not, their perception of my integrity takes a hit. It is pretty much always good form to acknowledge and apologize for not keeping my word, even if it means enduring a few moments of discomfort.
Lack of Caring – Not thinking honoring your word is as important as honoring your personal priorities.
Ironically, this can be a slippery slope in the world of personal and professional development. A sense of overwhelm from responsibilities inside and outside of work can make it particularly tempting to excuse inconsiderate behavior as self care and insincere promises as essential business practice.
There are times when saying whatever needs to be said in the moment to get what I need can seem like the only way to achieve my goals and honor my priorities. However, being driven solely by my desired outcome can set me up to be a terrible friend and colleague.
Interestingly, the fundamental problem here isn’t actually about honoring priorities. It’s about a scarcity mindset. If I believe only a few can get what they need, I’m more likely to dishonor my word to get my share. Believing there is enough for everyone is essential for me to be an effective partner and leader.
All of these scenarios can present issues with maintaining integrity if they aren’t acknowledged and addressed. Thankfully, every new day provides another opportunity to be better about clarity, communication and caring. In order to be good leaders and team members, at home and at work, we need to be intentional about all three.
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Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
