I love that this summer is highlighting an end to performative wellness occurring in the culture. For centuries, many disempowered people have put up the false front of being OK. That default setting of presenting as happy and healthy made for a very comfortable experience for those who were doing well with the status quo.
Now that more people consider thriving in life as achievable as simply surviving, we are seeing more bucking of the performative wellness facade in favor of genuine well-being. Women are calling out sexist, misogynistic and sometimes downright creepy behavior from dudes. Athletes are making their mental health a priority regardless of what sports fans think. All of it is sparking discourse.
As a Black woman whose job is advocating personal and professional well-being, it is tempting to blame people with power for the promotion of performative, rather than genuine, wellness. In honest reflection, I must admit there were times when I was cool with other people’s fake performance of wellness because it made my minion life simpler. The least gracious version of me can show up like the following:
- “If I’ve figured out how to tolerate the dysfunction, why can’t you stoically do the same?” It’s like anyone’s acknowledgment of their true misery makes all of us going through it look bad, especially the more identity traits I share with them.
- “If I actually am thriving in these circumstances, how can they be preventing your genuine well-being?” It’s easy to dismiss of the validity of a negative perspective when it is opposite to my own. Even worse, it can feel threatening to consider the rules being changed when I’m winning at this version of game.
Thankfully with greater experience and wisdom, I now do my best to empower us all to be emboldened against, instead of beholden to, dysfunctional power structures that compromise true well-being. In my observation and experience, there are three elements that make that boldness more do-able:
- Personal confidence in my stance – Establish a mindset that allows me to like and trust myself enough to go against the grain.
- Faith in my ability to work it out – Whether a stance yields the intended outcome or something slightly left of that, I know I can get back on track to an experience of life that is how I am meant to be.
- Financial security – Have savings, multiples streams of income and a healthy relationship to money that allows me to separate from toxic revenue-generating situations.
I invite you to consider which approach to wellness, external judgment or internal empowerment, seems more like you. What may need to be modified to embrace your genuine well-being beyond the performance?
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Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
