A version of this article originally appeared at thefaithfulacademic.com

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been focused on academics, fitness and being a good Christian. That was how mind, body and spirit manifested in my life. It wasn’t until I found myself to be a very fit, board-certified ob/gyn who felt like God and I were not on the same page that I began to imagine that the mind/body/spirit connection could possibly serve me better.

My brain had always been the part of me that I trusted the most. I picked up most topics quickly and studied hard to comprehend the ones that didn’t come so easily. The world celebrates intelligence so doubling down on my brain’s ability seemed like the sensible move.

Although my natural tendency is to enjoy being in motion, my physical activity was really mediated more by my brain than my body. Sports were a nice balance to academics. Eating healthfully supported better sports performance. It made perfect sense.

Not surprisingly, I also approached my relationship with God as an academic. Once I accepted Jesus as my Savior I set about learning everything I had to know to be a good Christian.

I attended church regularly and read my Bible daily so I was comfortable discussing theology with folks within and outside of my faith. I did my best to keep my behavior aligned with Biblical teachings. Anyone who knew what I professed to believe and saw how I acted would say it made logical sense.

Ironically, the problem with this take on spirituality is that it mostly neglected my spirit. I figured if I was doing all the stuff I learned was the right stuff to do, I was good. It didn’t occur to me to be intentional about checking in with my spirit while I was doing the deeds. Spirituality was assumed to go hand-in-hand with all the knowledge and actions.

Now that I realize being attuned to my spirit requires knowing how to process my feelings, it makes sense that I skipped this step for so many decades. I grew up in the science world. Feelings were not my thing. They can be fleeting and fickle and completely unverifiable.

More recently, I’ve learned the value of trusting my feelings. Let’s be clear. I still don’t use my emotions as guides for decision-making. They are more barometers of my current situation.

Nowadays I use my emotions as indicators of how aligned my spirit is with the Holy Spirit’s guidance. When I express the emotions I associate with being well, I know I am in God’s will. Feelings of stress, unrest and anger are warning signs that I am off course.

Rather than always heading toward a better feeling, I acknowledge the desire to shift from pain to pleasure then determine whether an immediate change will contribute to longterm peace. I’ve learned I do have to sit in discomfort long enough to process it so I move on in the proper direction. However, it’s a mistake to idle in misery when the time to get in gear has long passed.

When I was practicing medicine, I used arguments from my brain and the Bible to downplay the emotional signals from my spirit that I needed to make a change. Feeling miserable every day was trumped by rational thoughts about the importance of service and religious texts about weathering storms.

Eventually, I decided to claim that bit from The Bible about “peace that passes all understanding.” My decision to leave the job I had spent my whole life training to do was what brought me that peace. It had to be God because it didn’t make sense.

That was the first step in putting my spirit in its rightful, primary place in my spirit/mind/body connection. Honestly, it’s still a challenge for me to be comfortable with keeping it there. Years of revering logical thinking make it my habit to put my brain in the driver’s seat.

However, it’s spiritual guidance that leads my brain to make decisions to care for my body in a way that brings indescribable peace. That approach to mind, body and spirit is always aligned with God’s will for me, even if it doesn’t always make good sense.

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Dr Jattu Senesie is a physician well-being specialist, self care coach, speaker and retired obstetrician-gynecologist. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find the strength to be as good to themselves as they are to others.