Over the course of about a decade and a half in my adult life I came to believe that my baseline state of being was anxious and stressed out. Thankfully, I was wrong. It turns out I am actually a rather happy, pleasant and optimistic individual.
There is a difficult truth I must accept about when my transition from consistently joyful to perpetually angst-ridden began. It was when I began the long process of becoming a physician. I definitely obtained many wonderful skills and habits during my time in clinical medicine. Unfortunately, that was also the time I developed a disconnection from my essential spirit of joy and peace.
Defying the Dysfunction
The struggle to keep up the constant grind of medical practice led me to accept baseline overwhelm as how I was meant to be. I forgot that the most effective and fulfilled version of me was lighthearted and confident.
That basic misconception messed me up for a while as I attempted to build a satisfied life. Instead of working to restore my optimal state of being, I focused on learning how to function in dysfunction.
Working to improve bad circumstances in my life definitely had to be part of the process. However, making “not terrible” my ultimate goal ended up being tremendously limiting. The impact God wants me to have on the world requires thriving and not just surviving. That means being in touch with my essential spirit.
Mind/Body/Spirit Connection
The training process for physicians favors a swing in the mind/body/spirit balance toward the mind. The mind always has to be engaged. Clinicians are always learning, remembering, explaining or devising a plan of action. Since the brain is always talking, messages from the body and the spirit tend to get muted.
Also, the mind is pragmatic so its communication makes good sense. Basic desires to eat, sleep and pee get downplayed in order to get work done. Engaging with a super interesting patient gets cut short because there is minimal time to deepen connections during a busy work day.
The body has a toddler-like way of being noticed when we are ignoring it. We get sick. We pass out. We oversleep. Or maybe that’s just me.
The spirit is meeker. We have to be intentional about checking for its messages. When we stop listening intentionally for them, we either don’t hear them or don’t recognize them when we do. We stop acknowledging our intuition as our spirit telling us what we know we need to do.
Even the least spiritually connected individuals are capable of recognizing that still, small (if not always completely rational) voice on occasion. I was particularly good at accessing it when it came to caring for my patients. Sometimes I just KNEW what the patient needed even if it didn’t follow standard protocol.
It has taken me more effort to recognize and believe when that same intuition gives me information about myself that conflicts with others’ ideas. I fully understand that both external and internal cues have to be evaluated to live successfully in the real world. The challenge is to avoid falling prey to valuing external expectations above internal insights as the rule.
Maintaining the Internal/External Balance
Once I accepted that my natural state is peace, joy and happiness, I determined to design my life to support maintaining that state. There is a key I have found to keeping the external input from drowning out the internal spirit. I must cultivate an external environment that helps me maintain my connection to my spirit.
My most important choice is sharing my precious discretionary time with people who appreciate my journey. These folks help me identify where I authentically fit rather than encourage me to ignore my spirit in order to be accepted.
I don’t rely on them to facilitate my growth process because that is actually the opposite of tuning in to my spirit. What they do is acknowledge my unique spiritual path and support me as I travel it. This allows me to find and develop the right circumstances to sustain my own well-being.
I’ve noticed that the more I infuse joy into my life, the less I tolerate distress and anxiety. Feeling well spurs me to make every part of my life as joyful and peaceful as possible. It is a wonderful reminder of exactly how my spirit has always directed me to be, even when I wasn’t staying connected.
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Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
