Settling is something that doesn’t sit easily with my spirit.

My issue with settling is that to me it equates to being satisfied with satisfactory.  I’ve been type A since birth so being satisfactory has never appealed.

With time and maturity I have learned there are situations where satisfactory is a reasonable option.  The irony is many times I’ve settled for merely satisfactory in major aspects of my life while striving to be perfectly satisfied in less significant areas.

For instance, the world continues to spin if I only get in three of my four scheduled weekly workouts.  I’d prefer all four, but missing one workout makes little difference in my main objective of being fit and healthy.  Satisfactory is acceptable.

However, staying in a job that doesn’t bring me fulfillment because I doubt a better one exists is not OK.  That’s conceding to a limiting belief.  That disrupts my spirit.

When I think about when I have been most likely to settle inappropriately, there are certain themes that recur.

A feeling of powerlessness.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I am a control freak.  Perseverating over perfection in small things is right up my alley because they are completely within my control.

On the contrary, when I am dealing with other people in any capacity there is a level of compromise necessary.  I can only control my part.

Dissatisfaction comes when I don’t choose to make the most of my influence.  Dating relationships are a prime example of this.

I have to set standards for what I will and will not accept as appropriate. Maintaining those standards is my responsibility if I really think they are important.

I can’t expect my significant other to agree with me on every issue.  However, I have to conduct myself in a way that respects my own priorities while taking his into consideration.

All fulfilling relationships require a sense of cooperation rather than a constant feeling of concession by one side.  The best collaborations exist when all parties feel free to function in their strength.

My impact on creating satisfying situations for myself is often greater than I think.  The key is recognizing how much power I truly have.

Feeling ungrateful for God’s blessings.

For decades, I assumed that God’s plan was for me to be a women’s healthcare provider.  From receiving scholarships to passing board exams, the path to being a physician was rather smooth for me.

It made no sense to me that God would pave the road for me to get all that training so I could quit and do something else.  Even considering that possibility felt like a betrayal of all the opportunities I’d been given.

Unfortunately, medical training and practice never felt like the proper fit for me.  There was always a sense that it had to get better in order for it to be right.

Eventually I had to recognize I spent the time, money and energy obtaining the skills and knowledge to be a physician in order to live a fulfilling life.  I can still be grateful to have that education and acknowledge that my personal satisfaction lies outside of clinical practice.

God gave me an ability to learn and a heart to serve.  Those gifts are best used in a capacity that is better than just satisfactory to me.

The important thing to realize about satisfactory situations is many times they can be improved.  I don’t break up with a boyfriend or quit a job the moment I realize the current circumstance isn’t as satisfying as I’d like.

I am always hopeful I can make the situation better.  However, some constructive attempts on my part are met with no effort from other individuals involved or no improvement in my sense of peace.  That’s when I know it’s time to remove myself from the situation.

No matter the circumstance, I will always have the greatest vested interest in my level of satisfaction.  I owe it to my spirit to be the best advocate I can be for my own well-being.

Are you settling for satisfactory when you really want satisfying?  Why?

If you would like help developing strategies to maintain your own wellness, please click here to request an Essence of Strength sample coaching conversation.