READY FOR CHANGE

As January comes to a close, many of us are assessing our progress on the lofty goals we set for this new year.  Whether it was exercising more, eating better, or finally starting that creative hobby there have undoubtedly been varying levels of success.

I have a take on why some of us aren’t able to maintain the new habits we start.  We want things to be different without really being ready for things to change.

Every job I’ve had from physician to personal trainer to life coach has involved dealing with people’s readiness for change.  There are two major mindset culprits I notice in others and have experienced myself.

I have termed them Lot’s Wife Syndrome and Eye on the Exit Syndrome.

Lot’s Wife Syndrome is named in honor of the Biblical character from the Old Testament who looked back on the burning cities of Sodom and Gomorrah as her family was escaping.  She turned into a pillar of salt.

That’s what happens to a lot of folks when we embark on something new.  We get started on the path of change only to end up longing for the past and getting frozen in place.

Objectively, it seems obvious that leaving a town that is burning to the ground is a preferred option to hanging around in the rubble.  However, nostalgia can cloud rational thinking.

We end up focused on all the potential challenges of the new circumstance instead of recognizing all the ways it is better. 

For instance, it seems like a no-brainer to start exercising if we have a chronic medical condition that is treatable with regular physical activity.

However, our minds can convince us being a couch potato is a workable situation if we only concentrate on what a hassle it is to work out regularly.

We fail to consider how much money we’ll save on medications and how regular physical activity drops the risk for many medical ailments.

Instead, we persuade ourselves that taking pills for the rest of our lives is not that bad an alternative if it means we don’t have to go to the gym.

We aren’t truly ready for change.

Another big obstacle to lasting change is what I call Eye on the Exit Syndrome.  This is kind of the opposite of Lot’s Wife Syndrome.

Instead of looking back, we are always looking at how to get out.  This keeps us from being fully present in the moment to determine if we actually like where we are.

I am all about the idea of not being married to any particular life plan.  Circumstances shift and we need to be ready to roll with them.

However starting an endeavor with the mindset of “I have to know how I can get out of this” is not a good indicator of potential for permanence.

For something to be a lasting change there has to be some desire to make it last.

Eye on the Exit Syndrome keeps us from fully integrating new and potentially positive practices into our lives.  Instead, we add them on peripherally like an accessory that can be easily removed.

We are quick to drop a new endeavor if it doesn’t fit effortlessly into our lives.  We convince ourselves that means it wasn’t meant for us instead of admitting we were always looking for an out.

We aren’t ready for change.

For me, altering these mindsets that obstruct readiness for change has come down to getting clear on my vision of my desired state of being.

I was all about Lot’s Wife Syndrome when I was practicing medicine.

There were many aspects of my life that I didn’t like.

I also convinced myself that making a change had the potential to make the things I did like worse without bringing the improvements I wanted.

Eventually, I had to recognize that leaving medicine would make everything in my life completely different than I had ever imagined, and that was OK.

In fact, what I had previously imagined for myself was severely limited by fear and lack of creativity.  Once I got clear on the state of being I want for myself, my vision expanded immensely.

I also no longer Eye the Exit before I assess how where I am fits my overall vision.  I am able to be clear on what endeavors are worth the effort to maintain.

Instead of creating goals based solely on what we want to DO, we are better served by figuring out first who we want to BE.  From there, we can make decisions about the actions that allow us to be that person on a consistent basis.

When we have confidence that what we are doing right now is helping us to be the people we want to be, there is no looking to go back or to get out.

That’s when we are ready for lasting change.

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