Sometimes it is hard to identify what we value based on how we live our lives. Ideally, our values and belief systems guide our behavior. Unfortunately, many times our values rein in our activities but are not the driving force behind them.
For me, living a life that neglected some of my basic values led to extreme dissatisfaction. There weren’t any huge moral failings but rather a series of small betrayals of my spirit.
It happens so subtly it is unrecognizable without serious examination. Since no one else is affected in a particularly negative way, constructive external feedback is often lacking.
In fact, many times this compromise of values is in service to someone else’s priorities.
One of my core values is authenticity. It is very important for me to interact with everyone I encounter in a genuine way.
This was hard to pull off when I was a miserable obstetrician-gynecologist. No one wants to hear that you hate your job delivering babies! NO ONE!!
I’ve been trying for almost four years to identify exactly why I didn’t love medical practice as much as I thought I would. I think it comes down to how I define success.
It sounds ridiculous to say I lacked a sense of achievement when I was practicing medicine, but it’s true.
Getting the degrees and passing the never-ending board exams brought fleeting feelings of triumph. However, I am type A+ and that was what I expected of myself. It didn’t feel especially accomplished to me.
My intention in becoming a doctor was not to be able to put “MD” after my name for the rest of my life. I wasn’t trying to be impressive.
I wanted to make a significant positive impact on the lives of the people I treated. That is how I measure success.
Having a busy patient schedule led to a lot of contacts without necessarily forming many connections. Forming real bonds with my patients was the part of practice I enjoyed.
It is when those ties existed to support a mom giving birth or a grandmother digesting a new diagnosis of cancer that I felt like I had achieved. Unfortunately, my experience in medicine did not yield the type of success I value on a consistent basis.
As a result, I found myself constantly attempting to put a positive spin on a situation that wasn’t truly fulfilling. The problem was my spirit was not at peace with being inauthentic.
I realized I had to craft a life as legitimately joyful as everyone else seemed to think it was. When I investigated different ways to gain my personal measure of professional success I looked inside and outside of medicine. My path led me to the promotion of health and well-being in a non-clinical setting.
The work I do now as a coach and self care advocate allows me to live an authentic existence. It is so much better to be able to tell people truthfully why I am satisfied rather than struggling to figure out what story would make them happy to hear. This is why now I take care to make sure my life and my values remain aligned.
Are there any aspects of your life that are out of sync with your core values? What small steps can you start making today to bring your life and your values into harmony?
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Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
