The longer I live the more baffled I am by what it takes for us to accept certain signs in our lives as divine guidance and not just coincidence. Although I am a big believer in intuition, I’m talking about those very blatant signals that tell us we need to switch things up.
In my experience it comes down to paying attention and then believing what we see. Do we take note of clear signs in our lives and adjust our behavior accordingly? Or do we wonder if we really saw what we think we saw?
Sometimes we are oblivious to obvious indicators that something needs to change because we have gotten so accustomed to the dysfunction of our lives. For example, we doctors are so often tired and grumpy that we don’t notice those are also signs of hunger.
Generally, our willingness to acknowledge the legitimacy of certain signs relates to how well they fit into the overall narrative we have developed. If a circumstance backs up what we have already determined is real for us, we will wholeheartedly embrace it.
An expensive, unexpected repair for a car we want to replace is readily accepted as a sign to dump the vehicle. However, we ignore straining zippers and shirt buttons when we want to believe we haven’t gained any weight.
I’ve found the best way to interpret signs is assessing them like a neutral observer. What is the reality of the situation as perceived by an unbiased person?
The problem is we aren’t very practiced at being unbiased. We can be tenacious in sticking with a story we’ve decided is true regardless of the contradictory evidence before us.
Often the underlying issue is worry that once we acknowledge the reality we have to act on it immediately. If we aren’t ready to deal, we simply ignore the signs and act like we don’t recognize clear facts.
Sometimes we do have the insight to realize we can’t totally be trusted to read our own signs. That’s when we seek outside confirmation that we are interpreting a situation properly.
What makes us trust friends, family, and even local bartenders to be more impartial than ourselves? We have to remember they are not completely without prejudice either.
Depending on the nature of the relationship, they may be stuck in the same convoluted story we are. Sometimes they even bring their personal bias to our situation.
This is why I don’t recommend seeking primary counsel from people struggling in an area where one wants guidance. Someone in a less than stellar job, relationship or financial situation may see some signs as neon when they are really more heather gray.
I actually experienced the flip side, when I told people I was leaving medicine because I didn’t enjoy my daily work. The overwhelming response I got was some version of “everyone kind of hates their job.” The lack of joy I interpreted as a clear sign for change was perceived by them as more like a mile marker.
Although outside opinions can be helpful, they are no replacement for your own perception. Are others bringing you clarity on your vision or feeding you propaganda based on what they want you to see?
No one is as well-equipped to know you and what works for you at this moment in your life better than you are. Knowing yourself and being honest about what you know allows you to acknowledge and understand the signs appropriately.
What signs are you missing in your own life because you aren’t sure how it’s supposed to work? How can you change your wonder to certainty?
We have to get to a point where we are as attuned to ourselves as we are to our smartphones. We know how they function when all is well so we readily recognize the signs that they aren’t working right. We don’t wonder if we ought to make a change to improve their functioning.
How great would it be if we spent less time wondering about changing our lives and more time working on it?
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Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
