CELEBRATING THE LITTLE WINS

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I am a fan of acknowledgment.  The love language of Words of Affirmation is in a three-way tie for my top.

What I also know is that our society isn’t really wired to fulfill that need for me.  There is simply a deficit in verbalizing the things we appreciate about one another.

Even if one grows up in a world of doting parents and participatory trophies (of which I am no fan), there eventually comes a time when no one else gets as excited as you do about your accomplishments.

That’s why I’ve learned the importance of celebrating my own achievements.  Just because no one else has a compulsion to do a celebratory dance, that doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge myself.  If I don’t think I’m awesome who will?

There are a few keys to this process for me.

I have to be happy about something regardless of external accolades.  If others acknowledge me that sweetens the deal, but it isn’t essential.  This ground rule keeps me resilient if other people think my reason for excitement is lame.

If I get super jazzed about something that other folks think is silly or inconsequential, that doesn’t stop me from being happy about it.  The beauty of acknowledging myself is that I don’t need you to care about the things that bring me joy.

When celebrating my own little wins I have to recognize that more often than not you probably won’t care, and that’s fine.  That may even be true for the stuff I think is a big deal.

I need to be my own daily cheerleader.  What I’ve learned from starting a small business by myself is that many times external feedback is not encouraging or is absent altogether.

In the beginning, there are not a lot of huge milestones that require popping bottles of champagne.  If I was waiting for a call from Oprah to be on Super Soul Sunday before I got psyched for myself, I’d be a mess.

However, this is a trap many of us fall into.  We don’t feel worthy of having our moments brightened by anything less than big and spectacular.  This is a setup for dissatisfaction.

Every accomplishment is not going to be worthy of a memoir.  Likewise, not every celebration has to be a party.

For instance, writing for my blog and sending a weekly newsletter are part of what I have defined as my role as a well-being advocate for women in healthcare.  However, I still give myself props every time that I do it.

There is no big ritual or physical reward.  I just take a moment to acknowledge the satisfaction of creating something new.

Celebrating the little wins keeps me going.  I realize this is something I neglected to do for years when I was practicing medicine.  When I started out, I was in awe of the human body and its ability to grow another human.  Anything I could do to assist that process was amazing to me.

Over time, I allowed myself to get so overwrought by things I didn’t enjoy that I didn’t appreciate the wondrous events I got to be part of all the time.  When I stopped getting excited about the little things in all parts of my life, I lost the ability to muster enthusiasm when I got to do literally lifesaving work.

Now I seek out at least one small victory every day.  Many times it’s as simple as recognizing that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

As a recovering tardy person, I acknowledge myself when I get somewhere early.  I give myself a mental high five when I remember to bring a coupon to the grocery store.

I am an overachiever at heart, so I love doing things of great significance.  However, I’m also very practical so I know every day isn’t likely to bring a big win.  

Positivity is both my motivator and my goal.  Acknowledging myself for a job well done on the little things buoys my spirit to effect the big change I want to make in the world.

If you would like help learning to focus on the little wins, please click here to request an Essence of Strength sample coaching conversation.