EASY DECISION-MAKING

I’m here to share a secret about people with advanced degrees.  We think too much.  Our intellectual prowess has been celebrated and evaluated so much over many decades we don’t know when to cut it out and just do something already.

This leads to a sense of feeling stuck when considering choices that really aren’t that complicated.  Honestly, many decisions are pretty obvious when we get past the over-analysis and break it down to three simple questions – Why?  Why not?  So What?

Answering these questions makes me get up close and personal with the scary possibilities instead of pontificating around them.   This takes the power away from any limiting belief I may have.

The best example of this process for me was when I decided to take a three month break from medical practice three years after I finished residency.  My head, and several friends, said it was unheard of to take time off from work as a physician unless I was on maternity leave or was hit by a bus.

As I was neither with child nor planning to step into the path of a moving vehicle, I had to determine if it was worth it to rock the boat and establish a new normal.  Here’s how I did it.

Why did I want to take time off?

I felt burnt out.  I didn’t want to leave medicine permanently at that moment.  I just needed some down time to regroup after a decade of being impressive and unhappy.  Quitting my job outright or asking for a sabbatical were the best options I had in my limited self care arsenal at the time.

Why not ask for time off?

At least in my mind, there was a real possibility that I’d get terminated for even requesting such a long leave.  I wasn’t sure how the concept of “I just don’t wanna do this right now” would be received by my boss.

The biggest factor making me even consider NOT asking for time off was other people’s perception.  I had concocted all sorts of stories of how poorly I would be thought of if I just up and took three months off.

Patients and other doctors would think I’m a flake.  My co-workers would hate me forever for messing up the call schedule.  Future employers would think I was soft because I needed a break three years out of residency.

So what?

In the worst case scenario I’d be unemployed.  My alternative plan had been to resign so I assessed there would be no real harm done there.

Next, I had to put other people’s opinions in proper perspective.  That year I had seen the Virginia Tech shootings and the diagnosis of recurrent metastatic breast cancer in a close friend of mine.

Those events made me realize that when it all comes to an end, I want to be living a life I enjoy regardless of what other people think about it and me.

After this personal Q&A, any potential outcome just didn’t feel like that big of a deal.

In real life, the whole big telenovela I’d built up in my mind ended up being an afterschool special at most.  When I met with my boss and explained my situation, I requested and received my three months off with no fuss.

My co-workers were very kind to me before and after my break.  There was way more expression of awe and appreciation for my decision than the overt contempt I had feared.  No one actually said anything unkind to me.

For the record, this process took months to work through back in 2007.  Now, after practice and working with a coach myself to help identify and get past mental roadblocks, I am able to arrive at these types of decisions in a few days.

It really frees up my time for other activities now that I’m not suffering deep angst over every choice in my life.  I have energy to devote to my work, family and overall well-being instead of powering the wheels constantly spinning in my head.

The next time you have a decision I invite you to ask yourself – Why?  Why not?  So What?

If you would like help getting unstuck with your decision-making, please click here to request an Essence of Strength sample coaching conversation.