It’s been my observation the difference between being occupied and being overwhelmed is often impacted by one’s ability to outsource. On this matter, I have observed an interesting dichotomy among successful women.
There are those who do all the things by themselves because they “like to be busy”. Somehow, they feel like doing every part of every project is a requisite element of being busy. Thus, they accept being at least a little overwhelmed at all times as part a life they perceive as not lazy.
On the other hand, there are some women who have a team of people to whom they can properly delegate all things that are not part of their unique brilliance. This allows them to focus where they are most useful. Unfortunately, some of these women exist on a spectrum from insincere to obtuse about how much that extra help allows them to be fully occupied without all the overwhelm.
In my opinion, neither of these extremes serves individual women nor the community of women well. A lack of vulnerability or transparency around outsourcing perpetuates unrealistic standards and simmering resentment. I encourage more women to be honest (with ourselves and others) about how much help we need and how much help we get in order to achieve success with satisfaction.
Imagine how different it would be for the following statement to be empowering instead of embarrassing – “I would be able to do more things better if I had more help.” Instead of an overwhelming situation causing feelings of inadequacy, it would make sense that it’s challenging. Instead of the allocation of available funds to get assistance causing guilt, it would be an expected strategy.
There are certain people who delegate with abandon because they realize it makes sense for how their lives function. It is my hope that more women see that approach as totally reasonable for them when they have the resources to do so. This mindset shift could unburden a lot of women to release certain narratives that exist for little more than to serve patriarchal standards.
To that end, I invite people of all genders to the following self-inquiry:
Who says I have to do everything?
What made me attach a value or a principle to doing everything myself?
What resources do I have to remove some activities from my list of responsibilities?
What is holding me back from utilizing any or all of those resources?
When you write down your answers and compare them with your friends of different and same genders, notice what useful data comes to light. Ideally, this exercise spurs you to proceed in a way that supports more women enjoying a genuine sense of success with satisfaction.
Did you enjoy this article? Sign up here to have blog updates and the Essence of Strength monthly ezine delivered directly to your inbox.
If you would like help feeling occupied without being overwhelmed, please click here to request an Essence of Strength complimentary clarity conversation.
Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
