Take a moment to think about all the transitions you have experienced in your life. Was the change fueled by something internal or external?
In childhood, you move from one grade in school to the next. Over time, you progress through several different schools. For physicians-in-training, you rotate from one medical service to another as part of the clinical curriculum. The education process requires frequent transition whether you want it or not.
For many folks, your first job is often the first time you are expected to remain doing the same thing without regularly scheduled transitions. If you want change, you have to initiate it.
That being the case, I think many people reach adulthood without sufficient practice making the choice to transition. Those like myself, who participate in quarter of a century of formal education, get very accustomed to external forces guiding your transitions. You are unfamiliar, and sometimes uncomfortable, with the opportunity to assess a situation for yourself and decide a change is needed.
This is not to say that spending the first decade or so of your adult life in school removes all opportunities to make choices. You choose your institution of higher education. You choose your profession. You often spend your days making decisions that are in the best interest of your patients, employers and clients.
The thing is, most of your choices are focused on how to continue progressing along a predetermined path or to maintain the status quo. You don’t usually look at a situation and decide of your own volition to shake things up.
I want to suggest that is a problem.
If you never exercise your choice to transition, you won’t feel comfortable doing it. This is not an endorsement of change for change’s sake. This is an invitation to practice assessing a situation, realizing a transition is necessary and taking steps to make the change happen.
In my experience, there are three keys to being confident when making an intentional transition:
- KNOW YOURSELF.
Having a solid sense of who you want to be in any circumstance allows you to be comfortable making the decisions to support that. This is the reason it is so important to understand how your most authentic self shows up.
When you spend your life adhering to expectations set forth for you by others, you can lose a sense of who you really are. Living to be what is expected of you, regardless of what is authentic for you, will keep you stuck in situations that aren’t right for you. Knowing and liking who you really are helps you make the transitions that serve your greatest good.
- BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF.
Usually by the time you have obtained a graduate degree, you have internalized some element of the “suck it up and deal” mindset. This is what powers you through the rough times during school and training that you know will eventually pass. The problem arises when you convince yourself the bad times are the norm.
You have to be able to tell yourself the truth when your circumstances are not right for you. You can’t wait around for an authority figure to validate your discontentedness. Hoping a person who benefits from the status quo will give you permission to change is not a realistic expectation. Tell yourself the truth and believe yourself so you can initiate the necessary transitions.
- TRUST YOURSELF.
You have to trust yourself to handle the positive and negative consequences of whatever transitions you initiate. There is a natural reluctance to change from a known entity unless you can guarantee the next situation is better. However, your wariness of making a bad choice can keep you stuck.
Rather than seeking complete reassurance prior to every transition, I encourage you to acknowledge that being human means you are going to make a bad call once in a while. You are best served by developing a trust in your ability to move on from a bulls-eye or a misfire with appropriate lessons learned.
This foundation of self-knowledge, honesty and trust allows you to navigate the transitions you choose for yourself as well as those that have been chosen for you.
Did you enjoy this article? Sign up here to have blog updates and regular self care reflections and exercises delivered directly to your inbox.
If you would like help developing the strategies that allow you to be more intentional with your transitions, please click here to request an Essence of Strength clarity coaching conversation.
Dr Jattu Senesie is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, certified success coach, physician satisfaction specialist and speaker. She blogs about issues of self care and well-being in an effort to help her fellow altruistic high achievers find satisfaction in their success as early in their careers as possible.
